Ah yes, literary geniuses of our time. It’s a sad truth that I will remember Drake’s songs longer than anything I studied in undergrad. Who’s with me??
Now on the surface, I presumed this feud to be simply a publicity stunt, a way for Meek Mill to promote his newly released album. But – it’s really Drake’s very serious response that triggers my, “there must be some fun dysfunctions to analyze” nerve.
To use a slightly provocative term, but also to sight a phenomenon commonly experienced among males of our time, Drake and Meek are suffering from a “my junk is bigger” war. Initially, Drake attempted to be the bigger man. Responding gently and indirectly (via Twitter of course – the great meeting place of minds) to Meek’s allegations that Drake does not write his own lyrics. This was, of course, an outburst to Drake not promoting Meek’s new album via twitter.
From there – things escalated, even involving Drake’s alleged ghostwriter, Quentin Miller.
Drake gets attacked all the time (maybe for his stint on television show, Degrassi? LOVE <3) but never before has he responded with such fierceness. What about Meek’s allegations have impassioned Drake so much?
Oftentimes, at the bottom of a “my junk is bigger” war lies a deep insecurity that I believe exists at the root of both Meek and Drake’s behavior. To be an artist one must be incredibly vulnerable. Songwriters put their intimate emotions to songs and hope the general audience will like it enough to support their livelihood. As a young artist, I can imagine that every record Meek puts out feels like opening a wound and hoping the world will patch it up. This insecurity coupled with using Drake on one of his tracks probably led him to wonder why Drake couldn’t bother to give him a simple twitter shout-out. Meek’s initial hurt led him to want to hurt Drake in response. Unfortunately, hurt for hurt never ends well.
While reconciliation probably isn’t at the forefront of either of their minds, these two are breaking every one of the Marriage Boot Camp's “Rules of Engagement” which are our rules to engage in healthy conflict. If Meek had called Drake up and said, “Hey man, my record just dropped and I’d really appreciate a shout-out” things would have gone SO MUCH BETTER. He could even go so far as to say, “Hey man, I’m hurt that you haven’t thought to support me with my next album.” When we lead with vulnerability, the response is always better.
The first rule Meek breaks is name-calling. Name-calling NEVER works, ever. Did implying Drake has no talent encourage him to support you on social media? Ha! Nope.
Drake then breaks the rule of third party testimonials. We see Drake at his concert firstly name-calling using insulting meme’s of Meek and secondly bringing out some of the baddest artists in the industry (Kanye, Will Smith), to communicate, “they’re on my side, I clearly have talent.” It’s like being in the middle of a fight with your spouse about who does the dishes, and then saying, “My mom says she always see’s me doing the dishes!” All I can visualize is a small child with pigtails sticking her tongue out.
The list of unhealthy fighting continues. But these guys are clearly stuck trying to prove their worth to each other and doing it publicly for us all to see. I appreciate the case study but these two are nowhere near the friendship they once had. The saddest part is that both men are aiming at the other’s most sensitive area – their music.
Dirty fighting never leads to a reconciled relationship. For most of us, our goal in conflict should be a restored relationship! It's even possible to feel closer to a person after working through a shared problem, if done in a healthy way. The only restorative step these two can take is to lead with vulnerability.
Maybe Nicki will try to call a peace meeting.