Sweet Britney – America’s sweetheart – she was THE chick when I was middle school. Her 2007 meltdown revealed that everything was not as perfect as it seemed.
Most ladies, at one point or another, can relate to her undeniable attraction to the bad boy. The bad boy offers risk, adrenaline, and (most importantly) the temptation to be the one that changes him. We ladies DREAM of the bad boy who falls hard enough that he is willing to do anything to be with us! I don’t know about y’all, but I fully believed Kevin Federline was changing his bad boy ways to be with Princess Brit.
Wouldn’t that be nice?! Wouldn’t that be the perfect pat on the ego?! Isn’t that kind of ego boost what all ladies dream of?
Today we see Miss Britney dating notorious bad boy Harry Morton: alleged womanizer, CEO of Pink Taco (I feel like these two go together?), and the one alongside Lindsay Lohan during her infamous meltdown. Harry seems to have a thing for the party ladies.
A couple of things could be going on for Britney:
1- Britney is burned out from her intense life; using Mr. Morton to have fun but more so to escape from the deeper mental healing she’s experienced and is still working through. For those of us afraid of commitment or rejection– Harry’s PERFECT! We say to ourselves, “this will never amount to anything – it’s just for fun!” The hard truth: even if the plan is a shallow hook-up, your heart never quite gets the memo. You still fall in love, and the breakup hurts just as much as if you were dating The One.
2- Britney is going after the bad boy AGAIN hoping this time she can create her happy ending. I know, it sounds crazy, but guess what?! WE ALL DO IT. Freud calls this “Repetition Compulsion” – it’s our tendency to repeat some of the most traumatic events in our life in an effort to find resolution. We want the trauma to happen again except THIS TIME, it all ends well. What usually happens: we NEVER find resolution reliving the past. A good therapist is helpful here.
Whether Ms. Spears is choosing adventure 1 or 2 is unclear, probably also to her. My recommendation: Britney must seek wholeness and stability whether or not she has a man to validate her. When our romantic partner becomes our identity, our escape, or the zest to our life, things get sticky very, very fast.
We cannot make people our happy ending – they have too many wounds to heal from, just like us! When we are whole, we attract other whole people. When we are half-people trying to make a whole, we place our unfulfilled needs and expectations on a person who will let you down. The fights get dirtier and the ability to think clearly becomes muddier.
Britney, you’re seriously a boss. Your accomplishments are incredible! May you find health and wholeness as the #girlboss you are.